Outsourcing: Marital Duties Towards Sexy Wife, Outsourced To Immigrant Groundskeeper

As part of the ongoing trend toward replacing U.S. workers with foreign labor, the marital duties of United Carborundum CEO Howard Reinhardt have been outsourced to his Mexican groundskeeper, industry sources revealed Monday.

“It was time for a change,” said Reinhardt’s wife Melanie, who has been married to the CEO for 17 years and has conducted her sexual business almost exclusively with him since 1984. “While I was generally satisfied with the level of servicing that I received under Howard, it was my feeling that a younger, more aggressive hand on the tiller might bring some new ideas into play. No matter how mutually satisfying the old deal was, its time had passed.”

Although specific terms of the arrangement have not been made public, Melanie allowed that she has been “very pleased” by the new supplier—Jorge Escobedo, a 26-year-old gardener from Sierra Mojada who has been working in the U.S. since February.

“The switchover was seamless, considering how rapidly the deal was closed,” said Melanie, who initiated the informal arrangement with Escobedo on Nov. 20, while he was cleaning the equipment shed. “Well, in truth, I was considering a move in this direction for some time, and looking into possibilities. Then Jorge offered me a very attractive package, and I decided it was in my interest to act. I’ve been very pleased with his initial performance.”

Melanie said Escobedo beats her former provider in availability, reliability, and turnaround. He also requires minimal emotional investment from Melanie, who is the sole receiver of the goods under the new arrangement.

Melanie offered few details on the ins-and-outs of the deal, but she did report that the outsourcing is limited to Reinhardt’s marital duties. All previous supply arrangements with Reinhardt, including those pertaining to housing and finance, are still very much in effect.

“This isn’t some sort of challenge to the American workforce as a whole,” Melanie said. “I’m just sending the jobs where they’re going to be done most efficiently. The acquisition of houses, automobiles, and clothing will all still be in Howard’s wheelhouse, but groundskeeping and plowing are now to be managed by Jorge. It just makes sense.”

Melanie said the outsourcing is a direct response to the expansion of Reinhardt’s duties at United Carborundum.

“Howard is simply too busy to personally keep track of every detail of the marital union,” Melanie said. “As long as he’s available when he’s needed—major Reinhardt-family gatherings and the United Carborundum holiday ball—I’m happy to have someone else’s input day-to-day.”

The Reinhardt household has been moving toward a more modular operation for years now. Laundry duties are handled by a small Chinese concern; child-rearing and education are performed by a live-in salaried Irish employee; and a loosely organized, rotating consortium of Italians, Japanese, and Greeks handles food service. The sexual-services agreement, however, marks the Reinhardts’ first use of highly skilled foreign manpower.

The news of the outsourcing was met with little surprise in the greater Detroit area, where community members are used to seeing hard-won jobs go to foreign labor, and are aware of cooling relations in the Reinhardt household.

“This proposal might not be the win-win situation that Melanie is projecting,” said Philip Johannsen, business writer for the Detroit Free Press. “But it’s going to be tough for Howard to say he didn’t see it coming. When it came time to find a groundskeeper, he delegated the crucial domestic-hiring decision to his wife. He knows she’s a very proactive person, so it shouldn’t surprise him that she took the initiative to shore up areas of the household where she saw standards slipping.”

“If American executives are not willing to shoulder the increased personal investment of time and energy required to keep the jobs in-house, globalization is just something they’re going to have to accept,” Johannsen added.

Howard Reinhardt was unavailable for comment, as he was scouting locations in Oaxaca for a boron-nitride factory.

Migrant Indians helped US more in dollar terms, than total financial aid US gave to India!

India may have provided more in intellectual capital to the US just over the last decade than all of the financial aid the US has given to India over the last 60 years, says an Indian American entrepreneur researcher who has done a study on the immigration issue.

“So one may ask - who’s helping who, here,” said Delhi born Vivek Wadhwa, a technology entrepreneur currently working as Wertheim Fellow at Harvard Law School and executive in residence at Duke University on the release of the study Wednesday by Kauffman Foundation.

But for the first time in its history, the US faces the prospect of a reverse brain drain because of its flawed immigration policies, says the study, the third in a series of studies focusing on immigrants’ contributions to the competitiveness of the US economy.

The US should bring in highly skilled immigrants not as temporary workers but to stay if it does not want to lose them to countries like India and China, the study suggests.

The study is co-authored by Guillermina Jasso, professor of sociology at New York University, Ben Rissing and Gary Gereffi research scholars at Duke University and Richard Freeman, Herbert Asherman Chair in Economics at Harvard University.

Noting that the number of skilled workers waiting for visas is significantly larger than the number that can be admitted to the US, it says this imbalance creates the potential for a sizeable reverse brain-drain from America to the skilled workers’ home countries.

The study estimated “there are more than one million individuals waiting in line for legal permanent resident status. The wait time for visas for countries with the largest populations, like India and China, ranged to four years in June - not counting visa processing time - and may be even higher when visas are again available in October.

This backlog is likely to increase substantially, given the limited number of visas available, it said. Evidence from the “New Immigrant Survey” indicates that approximately one in five new legal immigrants and about one in three employment principals either plan to leave the US or are uncertain about remaining.

Moreover, media reports suggest that increasing numbers of skilled workers have begun to return home to countries like India and China where the economies are booming, the study noted.

“So far, the US has the benefit of attracting the worlds best and brightest. They have typically come here for the freedom and economic opportunities that America offers,” said Wadhwa.

“Now, because of our flawed immigration policies, we have not set the stage for the departure of hundreds of thousands of highly skilled professionals - who we have trained in our technology, techniques and markets and made even more valuable.

“This is lose-lose for the US. Our corporations lose key talent that is contributing to innovation and competitiveness, and we end up creating potential competitors,” he said.

Wadhwa said he was by no means advocating an expansion of the numbers of H-1B visas for skilled workers. “In fact, part of this problem has been created by our expanding the numbers of temporary workers we admit and not increasing the numbers of permanent resident visas.”

Noting that the focus of the immigration debate in US has been on the plight of the unskilled workers who have entered the country illegally, he said If Washington waited five years to reform the immigration system, the illegal and unskilled will still be here as these poor people have few options.

“But the highly educated and skilled - who are fuelling economic growth and contributing significantly to US global competitiveness will be long gone. They are in even more demand in countries like India and China than they are in the US. Our loss will be the gain of their home countries,” Wadhwa said.

Reuters: Sex swingers are serious (fun?) business for firms!

Matt Virtue, who works as a consultant at a Washington law firm, says he spends more than $10,000 a year to attend conventions, hotels and clubs where he and his girlfriend can have sex with other partners.

“Any other hobby that I was into at 40 years old is going to cost me $10,000,” he said from a hot tub he was sharing with his girlfriend and a couple with whom they had been intimate the night before. “Dude, I’m addicted to it, there is no doubt about it.”

Such enthusiasm has turned what were once private passions into a multimillion dollar business. Lifestyles Organization, the nation’s largest swinger services company, has annual sales of about $15 million.

Swingers also bring in millions of dollars to specialty clubs and hotels in the United States as well as Jamaica, Mexico, France and elsewhere.

“We’re talking about a lifestyle, but in reality we are also talking about a business,” Robert McGinley, 73, the president of Lifestyles Organization, said during its annual convention in Las Vegas, which attracts about 900 couples.

Lifestyles Organization caters to a middle-class demographic who want to meet like-minded couples and who typically want to hide their passions from what they call “vanillas” (conventional couples).

Efforts to meet such couples outside those circles often fail, giving tour, club and convention organizers steady business.

Terri, 48, attending the convention from Boise, Idaho — who asked that her last name not be published — said she and her husband of 21 years spend as much as $8,000 a year on several weeks of swinging vacations and club visits.

At this year’s event, Anaheim, California-based Lifestyles Organization contracted out an entire hotel near the Las Vegas Strip and organized seminars and parties for middle-aged couples.

The most exhibitionist of those gathered in open hotel rooms after midnight to have sex as others watched or joined in. Some couples made small talk as they were engaged in sex, including one man who boasted that his son was in medical school.

“The other night I looked up and there were five or six people looking,” said Terri, who retired from the US Air Force two years ago. “I’m glad I was giving them a good show.”

“I’ve had three (lovers) in the past 24 hours.”

Leading sex researchers say they do not know the number of swingers in the United States, so it is difficult to pinpoint how much business the subculture represents overall.

Rick Conner, a swinger and author of an advice book for such couples, estimates there are 100,000 US swingers, of whom 20,000 are particularly active. Other swingers have suggested the number is in the low millions.

PLEASE, NO SEX IN THE RESTAURANT

Despite the unusual focus of the convention, McGinley shares the bottom-line concerns of many businessmen.

“In business there is risk and you have to decide is it a reasonable risk or not,” he said. “Behind the scenes there is a lot of planning that goes into this and a lot of going over financials, financials of the past and what is the current situation.”

He said couples paid a registration fee of $690, out of which $200 covered costs, leaving an overall profit of more than $400,000. Couples pay additionally for hotel rooms and flight costs.

Lifestyles Organization faced a few unusual incidents. His staff had to halt one couple from engaging in a sex act inside the Tuscany Suites restaurant.

Conventions bring Lifestyles $4 million in annual sales; their travel business booking swinging guests into resorts such as Hedonism II in Jamaica or Desire in Mexico bring in another $10 million to $12 million a year, McGinley said.

“We relax our already liberal rules to accommodate the Lifestyles Organization and make the entire resort clothing-optional,” explained Richard Bourke, general manager of Hedonism II.

He said Lifestyles Organization books $2 million of rooms a year over six contracted weeks. Hedonism II staff are barred from intimate relations with the guests and some have been fired for violating the edict, Bourke said.

“You have resorts with big-name resort companies that are catering to it,” McGinley said. “They’re not into swinging at all, but they are into making money, and we’re the ones that provide the clients for them.”

Desire Resort and Spa in Los Cabos, Mexico opened in November with a focus on the swinging market. About half of the guests are active swingers, according to Jesus Prado Leal, a receptionist.

Several hundred clubs nationwide also cater to swingers. Jeff James, who works for Club Freedom Acres in San Bernardino County east of Los Angeles, said 225 to 260 couples visit on a typical Saturday night, paying $85 each, with a similar number on Fridays paying $65. “It’s doubled in daily attendance in the last three years,” he said.

Swinging also boosts ancillary services such as breast enhancements and erectile dysfunction drugs. “Viagra is definitely part of the adult scene,” said Deborah, a 52-year old aesthetician grandmother from Dallas, Texas, who asked that her last name not be used. “Instead of four stars before, it’s probably five stars now.”

Source: Reuters/Sify

I am back ...

It has been an now-on, now-off kind of relation with this blog of mine. I have noted with eeriness that the typical gap between posts is almost 1 year! Can you believe that? Unbelievable ...

As my last post explains, my last hiatus was partially imposed on me. After relocating to USA, I didn't have much time on hands to blog my thoughts. Then something happened and I lost my blogs - You facing the same issue? Click here to regain control of your old blog posts!

Now that I am back, I am re-posting my blog from another site where I had shofted my blogging efforts just to show you the "next Google" on businesses ;-)

Hell I dont mind launching this "enabler model" of business and being the first to sign up as well. The blog article I am referring to is here. Or you may paste the link below:

http://ashishthakur.blogspot.com/2007/08/reuters-sex-swingers-are-serious-fun.html

Hopefully you will see me around more often now, writing with my kinda of typical posts!

My German era ends and the American epoch begins

I wouldnt say that the time I have spent in Germany is an era - just 5 years. Like most of the things in this world, different perspectives lead to different opinions - I am no different! Since this is my blog, this is my opinionated perspective.

Its going to be time to say goodbye to Germany soon - Tschuß Deutschland! I shall be heading off for about half a year to US as part of my new job. There isnt much to write home about that, except that the heavenly powers above seemed to have taken a note of this fact and show me the severest winter I have known in Germany since my first visit in February 2000!

Irony personified ...

Today I happened to come across a good report that made me feel really strange about how the world is changing!!

Being based in Germany, I read some German articles and some of the better (and sometimes the best) articles are published by the magazine Der Speigel. Their english language version recently published a story about The Benefits of Becoming Indian (feathers not dots).

Now that sets my brain thinking - was'nt America the one that gave the world the hippie culture and marijuana smokin' in the 70's? All throughout the tom-tom man beat the hymns of individuals, individual freedom, individual rights, right to co-exist and all so on? So many caucasian people have proudly put their driven-hollow-by-smoking chests forth and said "I am a true American!" - we all know the true Americans were the "Red Indians" - the caucasian race (or pilgrims) came from Europe. Its also the same story with the Australian Aborigines races!!

No offense to any country or race, but some of the statements I read in this article were, and I quote:

Circe Sturm of the University of Oklahoma believes these second-class Indians are often simply enjoying themselves. The anthropologist has interviewed more than 70 people who changed ethnic groups about their motivation. She doesn't believe that most of them are just after the money. Many are frustrated and are looking for some kind of meaning in their lives. "If being white is just an empty plate," she says, "then being Indian is a gourmet buffet."

Many of the converts connect the indigenous existence with ideals such as equality between the sexes, more democracy and a romantic affinity with nature. The anthropologist found that two things were particularly attractive to the pale-faced Indians: the spiritual rituals and the idea of belonging to a group. An increasing number of Americans want to experience those pleasant feelings --

Many have talked about the social fabric of family and its meltdown in countries like US. This is a complete 360 degree turn back to what has come through many many evolutions of the Homosapien race and is still observed in the other species of living things (whom we so lovingly classify as "social animals") on this third rock from the Sun. ;-)

Monetary benefits apart, the need for an individual identity, a culture to call their own and uniqueness that comes with the culture is what seems to be the deeper craving in many who have switched to their Indian roots. While I personally believe that the beauty of the US is the salad-bowl culture (where everyone comes together but maintains their individual culture and identity) that they have and maintain - what seems to have gone amiss in this?

I believe that the answer may lie in some of the smaller things that life offers and which many of us neglect or ignore, more-often-than-not. We ignore the fact that humans are social creatures and while we like to mingle, interact and exchange, we all also have a ego (which we imbibe starting our birth). This ego is more or less a definition of what others think of us - collectively as a group and individually. Does this mean that the people in discussion have lost their sense of identity? or can it be inferred that there was no sense of identity and "grass-root" belonging and now with the world going flat, the exposure and eye opening has lead to this vaccum being recognised?

Interesting questions, if you ask me, for the citizens of a country which has been preaching the world about adapting their way of life ...

I had some more articles that I wanna include in this post - but unfortunately I lost the links. If I ever find them, I will edit and re-post the links.

Semblance of sanity and serenity

On a more balanced and calmer note, here are some words of analysis and wisdom from Charles Wheelan. He kind of drives home the point that India has to be experienced in-person than anything else!

For once I have seen an article which, does not start ranting and raving and crying foul each time the Indo-US trade relations in the services and technology sector are even remotely mentioned!

Have a look at his article (lucid and concise - my opinion) and see for yourself, if what he talks about resonates with you.

On a better note

On a better note ... this is one of those occassions that its a weekend and I am in good spirits and thought that this would be a good point to pen in a few lines!

Its a really pleasent surprise when a really good friend from your "wonder years" calls you at work in office and informs you that he is in a neighbouring country on a business trip (after a gap of something like 9-10 years) ... You exchange a few pleasentaries and then launch off into a triade of questions regarding what he has been up to? How the family is coming along etc etc etc ...

While the chance to meet an old friend is intriguing, the best part of it is the immediate trip down nostalgia lane. This one call out of the blue does to you. You are left with happy memories and a warm tingling sensation about the years that have gone by ... not to mention that if you are a thinker like me, you end up facing questions like "My Oh my - how time flies!", "Was it really that long ago?", "What a great set of years", "If I could relive that again, would I do it any different?" or "I wish I had known it was so good then" and so on !

Hmmm ... As someone has rightly said: Life is not about how many moments you breathe, but about how many moments that take your breath away

Right now, I am getting ready for the weekend :-)

Previous post

In my last post I said I am biding my time ..... I have REALLY been biding my time. In fact, I completely ignored my blog and here it is now - almost 1 year down the line !! Oowwcchh !!

In fact its funny, I wanted to make my post exactly on the 5th/6th of May 2005 (so that's dot 365.25 days after my last one). Seems like I didnt have the patience :-)

Anyways, "the hunt" didnt succeed for me, though the short DivX animated file is a great success. So here I am writing my 7th post to the blog.

Ummmm ... so what shall I pen down? Its been a busy year with its ups and downs. My wife finally joined me in Europe. My parents came visiting during summer 2004. My sister and her family decided to follow suit - now those 9 days were great, but they sapped me of my energy like hell !! Heck, I did manage to con my Director to give me Friday's and Monday's off, so I was working only 3 days a week for about 2 months ... I wonder if I will be able to pull it off again - LMAO !!

Job hunt

Job hunt - that is what on my mind these days... Prime concern !! Eeeeegad ...

Thanks heavens that I am not in the doldrums as of now - I am still gainfully employed and by the grace of the supreme one, I shall remain - till I shoose to quit (which I would do eventually - how soon is again up to Him). I made a mistake when I joined my present firm. The only learning out of this is that for the first time in my life, my subconscious senses had me that my present job (I was interviewing then) would not be a good choice to make.

I rushed in to find out that angels (even seasoned devils) fear to tread in - i had done it. Now I know to trust some of God's gifts to me ...

So why am I making a job hunt my prime concern? Basically 'coz its taking a wee-bit too long !! and I have concerns that my "trackrecord" may be getting affected in the process ... The slump in the IT sector is also to be blame - The jobs are there, the opportunities are there, even the damn money is there ... its just that no one wants to charge first, only to be proven a successor of Don Quixote !!

I think I will bide my time. Summer season is here and continental Europe is the best place to be in this season ... I think I will take a deep breath, soak in the sunshine and live my life till He taps me on the shoulder and nods in the affirmative ...

It actually works ...

It works - it actually works - well not completely, but in many ways that i had imagined ... for starters: when i read my own blogs, i come to one outright conclusion - I AM UNORGANISED ... In thinking, structuring, and narrating - and what does that make me ?? Simply put INCOHERENT and in worse tone INCOMPREHENDIBLE. I think i am getting the impression that people do agree with what i said, but when they wanna do some analysis/thinking on what i said - they failt to see one single chain/issue ... they see a web of interconnected issues, each logically flowing from one into the other ... wjat is missing that the thread that started, did not exhaust all its potential before it flowed into the next one ...

as i mentioned before i am man of logic/structre, so i do make sense, but i do not to leave much scope/room for them to contradict/re-analyse me ... Hmmmm - now dont think that what i have written so far seems to make sense and hance has been re-written/edited for ease of comprehension ... no its a conscious effort - therapy if u may - and thats why i said at the beginning of this blog - it works in a way ... Here is something that I am beginning to realise:

# I am not determined enough to stick to the end - why? can it be addressed? is my mind too fickle to ever be concentrated enough?
# I seem to be seeking something that I do not understand or know fully yet - is this normal?
# I want it all and I want it NOW - ambitious corporate world dreams of a greenhorn? is it even possible? with some it seems so ...
# I want my epitaph to read "Here lies a GOOD man - who made life better for atleast one other fellow human" - why? how many people know what their tombstones will read? (for that matter i will not have one - coz they will burn me after i kick the bucket)
# What am I seeking? Honestly - I dont know ...

It's been a while ...

Its been a while since i wrote anything - but its been quite a lot of thinking i have been doing ... now should i share it with u all or should i refrain from boring u ... now this raises another question for me. who am i blogging for? you people out there ... or for myself (refer my first posting) .... Hmmmmm. I guess thats a rhetorical question - at this point you may stop reading if (a) you dont know the answer (b) if you are not interested in reading further

maybe i am writing coz its theraputic or i just have the urge to write something (maybe its the creative side in me wanting to break out and bring a change to my otherwise mundane and routine life) or am i desperate for a solution? what is it ... its confusing, its frustrating, its .... LIFE !! i am learning to love my life and I am learning to hate it as well .... the best part of the whole deal is this - i am LEARNING ...

i seriously believe that there are 2 sides/facets to everything - we live in a multi-dimensional world .... somethings may be one dimensional - not life - NO SIR :-| not life . i believe that its alteast 2 dimensional if not anything else ... you see I am a man of science. i have studied the sciences in school and college. i have studied them deep enuff to be deemed fit to qualify as an Engineer ... i need proof, i need reason, logic and convincing before i can agree ... but then i dont crunch numbers/theories enuff coz somewhere i realise that this is not life ... Life cannot be defined as an equation resulting from any hypotheses ... there is more ... the most beautiful thing in LIFE is the people and the experiences that we go thru ...

Something that really stared me in the face from a friend's email - his signature ... 3 simple lines that carried enuff reason and logic to justify to anyone (open enuff to believe) the beauty of this flawed human existence. the lines were: If to err is human and to forgive divine ... if no one is perfect, then I am the perfect HUMAN and I am proud of it !!

its been quite a while since I have felt relaxed - these 3 lines gave me a reason to relax ... and think .... till the next blog posting atleast ... and that may come sooner than i may think (no i m not advertising) ...

It's the weekend !!

Its the weekend ... time to sleep in late and wake up late too. == YAWN == as per the norms, my wife gives me a wake-up call around noon (my time). she is in India and i am in Europe - nice place, nie people, too many languages - so her evening is my afternoon. thos of u in lang distance relationship would know how much this can depress at times ...

but anyways, she read my blogs so far and said that i needed to write more. she kinda liked the concept that i can leave her some notes, personal stuff that she can indulge in her free time - its like living in the same apartment and leaving love notes and sweet-nothings on the refrigerator (especially when the couple works mutually exclusive hours) ... i found that analogy cute ;-)

Damned be the people who cant get their acts right and then i have to spend my weekends working for some of their really boring/brainless ideas and implementations. i am mumbling coz i spent my saturday in office yesterday (along with some 12 equally disgruntled colleagues). if i could buy brains and common sense over a retail counter, trust me i would give some of these guys BUMPER gift certificates.

but anyways, it was my sister who broke my slumber with an early morning fone-call (she lives in a different timezone as compared to me or my wife). I love you sis, but why on a Sunday morning? Boo hoo ... and what does she wanna know? name a few good brands of men's perfumes !! Eeeeegaaaaad :-(

On a sunday morning (as i post this over a cup of evening coffee), i really dont know how i smell ... Hmmmmmmm - he he he he ...

How - someone tell me how !!

How is any person supposed to make an informed decision? Some factors that come to mind are:
1. Know the problem (thats extremely important)
2. Know are the possible scenarios that may emerge
3. Choose the desired outcome and then plot the approache(s) to that end.

sounds simple? if life was that simple too, we would all be computer programs today !! sometimes (in my opinion), its best that you take what comes your way inspite of the option seeming to go in the opposite direction of ur choice. maybe thats life's way of showing you an alternate route which could be more pleasent (or worse) or maybe shorter (or harder and longer). but either ways, the variety is the spice of life and satiating curiosity is the essence of existence.

i could be wrong - but then are you any better informed? if yes, i would like to hear from you ...

This sounds like ...

This sounds like the song that Bryan Adams had been crooning sometime ago ... but I put it as the title of my first blog coz I thought it made a neat introduction to who I think I am.

Life as I know it, is in a state of flux for me and my wife. I thought this blogging may be a decent platform for me to vent my thoughts. I hope I can be a bit regular and if this thing helps me, you may see more of my (in)sane blogs in the future as well (watch this space).