It actually works ...

It works - it actually works - well not completely, but in many ways that i had imagined ... for starters: when i read my own blogs, i come to one outright conclusion - I AM UNORGANISED ... In thinking, structuring, and narrating - and what does that make me ?? Simply put INCOHERENT and in worse tone INCOMPREHENDIBLE. I think i am getting the impression that people do agree with what i said, but when they wanna do some analysis/thinking on what i said - they failt to see one single chain/issue ... they see a web of interconnected issues, each logically flowing from one into the other ... wjat is missing that the thread that started, did not exhaust all its potential before it flowed into the next one ...

as i mentioned before i am man of logic/structre, so i do make sense, but i do not to leave much scope/room for them to contradict/re-analyse me ... Hmmmm - now dont think that what i have written so far seems to make sense and hance has been re-written/edited for ease of comprehension ... no its a conscious effort - therapy if u may - and thats why i said at the beginning of this blog - it works in a way ... Here is something that I am beginning to realise:

# I am not determined enough to stick to the end - why? can it be addressed? is my mind too fickle to ever be concentrated enough?
# I seem to be seeking something that I do not understand or know fully yet - is this normal?
# I want it all and I want it NOW - ambitious corporate world dreams of a greenhorn? is it even possible? with some it seems so ...
# I want my epitaph to read "Here lies a GOOD man - who made life better for atleast one other fellow human" - why? how many people know what their tombstones will read? (for that matter i will not have one - coz they will burn me after i kick the bucket)
# What am I seeking? Honestly - I dont know ...